so yea i havent blogged in two or three days? i dont know how long its been. So lets see...

-current feelings: Deep down inside im still hurt. At least some progress is that i stopped drinking so far and dont have to depend on my nightly drinking to go to bed. I know that schools coming up and i shouldnt be drinking cuz im probably going to be on coffee or energy drinks. I know that i was suppose to go help michelle move in tom. Her mom even asked me if i wanted to. I told her yes i do but i cant. I know that deep down its going to hurt just seeing her because im going to picture me and that fucker inside michelle's head. I still love and really miss her. My mom asked me "do you want me to set you up with somebody?" i said "No" within a second. Then she said "yea you should just focus on your school". i said "yea". thats not the real reason why i didnt want to get setup with someone. I think that i can make new friends but other than that...its gunna be a while for me to heal. This semester is going to be lonely...not in the sense im not going to have anyone, but in the sense after almost two years into nursing school, michelle wont be there for me. I cant ask her for any help. I wanted to finish my nursing school off with her with me by my side, but man...what just one summer can do. I also got a text from her mom saying that you know she just likes this guy but she still loves you. I responded by saying..if she loves me, then why couldnt she choose between me or him? i mean i thought that there should be no hesitation to choose. I mean i know i mentioned this before in one of my recent posts but yea thats one of the foundations of me being hurt. whenever i drive around, i always see couples walking around holding hands and just being together...man thats all i wanted over my last summer.....to spend it with you. Kris and kristine are meant for each other.

-i watched pineapple express today with kris and i thot that it was funny because it was random and shit ahaha
-also got a haircut a couple of days ago so i guess its more proper for the hospital
-i just want to spend the last days of summer relaxing


till my next post...

Bren